Rainswept

IMG_20170623_010314_439.jpgKissing like teenagers on that cold morning and yet the day felt warm. I loved you so much that day that my heart broke. I am no more mine after that day. I am forever, in waiting to feel like that again. I want you to claim me as yours; heart, body and soul. I was lost in that kiss and never recovered. You took my heart and never returned back. I loved you so much in those moments that people might take years to even feel that kind of love. I love you, when seasons change. I love you, when you change. I thought I fell in love but no, I realised something today. I was rainswept. I never had any chance.

Delhi Rains

IMG_20170621_181219_072.jpgI love my city, Delhi but when it becomes Venice even if for a day, it becomes a little too much. I sat conveniently in my car and took this picture but what about those who walk on the road, one with flimsy shelters. What about people on the other side. It is International Yoga Day, today. Can you see the irony yet ? They say pictures say a thousand words.

 

Pen

IMG_20170621_122516_913.jpgThis is my pen, one I use to write all my poems or whatever comes to my mind since last year. That’s when I started to write again. I have a fear and it might seem silly to many of you but it is going to be out of ink very soon. It scares me. Will I be out of words to write then? Can this happen that one day, your words simply leave you. Anyways, excuse my bad handwriting.

Palampur

IMG_20170620_092412_328.jpgIt rained the day we went to Palampur. It’s raining in Delhi today.

Some days rain makes you happy and dance. You play in rain like kids. Then there are days like today when the day feels gloomy.  The rain is same but the heart’s not.

 

Love is

IMG_20170619_190608_773.jpgYou know what love is. It’s the person who comes to your mind when you see this picture. Someone with whom you want to share all your beautiful moments and silence ❤

This picture was taken at Neugal Khad, Palampur, Himachal Pradesh.

I am just a girl missing her dad.

IMG_20170618_112448_504.jpgI am just a girl missing her dad.

I have deactivated Whatsapp and Facebook from my phone because I wanted to get away from constant reminders of Father’s day. Well it’s not like that I don’t miss my father or don’t think about him all the other days. It’s an constant ache and pain that has never left me for last twenty years now. But something about everyone’s pictures and quotes about how lucky they are to have a father in their life just gets to me. I am trying really hard to be happy and cheerful.

We have made plans for today too. Me, my husband and our four year old daughter are going to the mall today to celebrate his job promotion and shopping. But I am unable to let go of this sad feeling.

I am not the kind of person who envies other people’s happiness. I like to see people happy but this day is just reminding me how I never had a happy childhood. I never knew father’s love. Saddest thing is he died in his sleep and I could never get any closure too. I was in school at that time and I remember feeling so lost. Somehow I feel like that lost girl today. It’s not a good feeling.

I have no idea why am I sharing my feelings here today but sharing your pain with strangers is somehow easier. With friends and family, there is judgement and lack of empathy. I posted about empathy yesterday. How we try to minimise other people’s pain.

I guess everyone wants a father who loves them and is there with them even when they themselves become parents. But it’s not the reality. All of us are not that lucky and I guess it’s okay to be sad. This pain makes me who I am. Through this post, I want to reach out to people like me. I don’t have to be brave today and read all those happy Father’s day posts. I can simply take a break and be sad. I can think of other good things in my life and feel gratitude.